schalk burger is so tuff that…
schalk burger is a flanker for south africa. the main role of the position is to put pressure on the opposition – generally, when the opposition has the ball, the flanker puts in one of the first tackles. thats not enough, though, he has to get right up and then try and make another tackle, and then another, and then another…
obviously not every flanker can do that, but the best in the world can. they’re just tackling machines.
more than just being good at tackling, the best flankers in modern day rugby have taken the game to new levels. some of them have become incredibly good readers of the game and are able judge where the ball is most likely to move towards and hone in on the unlucky player who finds himself in possession of it. they’ve basically become like big cat predators, pouncing on their prey!
and as if that’s not enough, there are even some who are good at offensive play! players like schalk burger and richie mccaw have great ball-handling skills, speed and agility. added to this all flankers also have strength (required for their defensive role) and so are invariably very hard to bring down.
a flanker with all these qualities really is an imposing player. one can see how important they can be for a team and the fans understandibly love them as they seem to be able to do everything!
in fact, schalk burger is so tuff that:
when schalk burger does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
when the tokoloshe goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for schalk burger.
schalk burger counted to infinity – twice.
schalk burger invented every colour. except pink. percy montgomery invented pink.
schalk burger gave mona lisa that smile.
schalk burger can slam a revolving door.
schalk burger’s calendar goes straight from march 31st to april 2nd; no-one fools schalk burger.
schalk burger can speak braille.
schalk burger’s tears cure cancer. too bad he has never cried. ever.
superman owns a pair of schalk burger pyjamas.
schalk burger sleeps with a night light. not because schalk burger is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of schalk burger.
once a cobra bit schalk burger’s leg. after five days of excruciating pain the cobra died.
when schalk burger exercises, the machine gets stronger.
schalk burger can kill two stones with one bird.
the only time schalk burger was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.