Home > general > man arrested for having sex with his bike

man arrested for having sex with his bike

A bike

here’s an article that charlotte sent me from the bbc:



A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

“They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

“The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”

Both cleaners, who were “extremely shocked”, told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’.”

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

at first i found this funny. then i was shocked.

and then, when i realised that they went into his room i thought: poor guy! i mean, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. its not like he was hurting the bicycle’s feelings! he can do what he likes with his bike in his room.

poor guy…


now that this whole thing has sunk in, i must say its actually disgusting! really! barging into some poor guy’s room and arresting him! for what? who was he hurting?


you can see the original article here.

also, for those that are interested, there’s a follow-up article here about the reaction to the incident and to the way this guy has been treated.

Categories: general
  1. November 28, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    And the poor bike! Now that he’s been arrested the poor bike won’t be getting any for awhile!

  2. November 28, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    I definitely agree that the more this sinks in, the more aggravating it is. Luckily, it seems a lot of people agree. Did you see the follow-up article? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7098116.stm

  3. jean pierre
    November 28, 2007 at 8:14 pm


    oh chris… very dark 🙂


    wow – i hadn’t seen that! thanks.

    well, i’m glad people aren’t just accepting this. its ridiculous.

    and whats worse, is that they’ve actually published the guys name. its bad enough that he’s been arrested and put on this sex offenders list, but now everyone also knows who he is.

  4. November 29, 2007 at 2:41 am

    I’m not sure why I’m laughing.

  5. November 29, 2007 at 5:42 am

    I am definitely dead-bolting my room the next time I ride my bike.

    On a more serious note: this is one that should be challenged by the lawyers.

  6. jean pierre
    November 29, 2007 at 7:58 am


    well, what the man did is funny. i laughed too! it was only when i read what happened to the poor guy that i got upset.

    but it is funny… 😀



    and yeah, i really hope it is challenged.

  7. November 29, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    I have to admit that I laughed too at first 😛

    But yeah… arresting him is absurd. It’s his bike, he can do whatever he wants with it. It’s not like he was raping it, is it?

  8. November 29, 2007 at 7:19 pm

    I totally agree with you! The guys a perv, but he WAS being a perv in the privacy of his own room!! Somehow, it just doesn’t seem right for him to get arrested AND get placed on a sex offenders list. I mean, it’s not like he was really hurting anyone but himself.

    Sheesh…what is the world coming to these days?? We’d be better off with an invasion of zombies!!

  9. November 29, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Well, that’s an image that will never leave my head now.

  10. November 30, 2007 at 3:00 am

    I think he was arrested more because people were disgusted rather than anything criminal. Which is scary because this means the law can be enforced to persecute ANYONE for private activities (sexual or otherwise) that the public objects to. And exists no counter-check in the legal system to prevent this from happening to ordinary people like this poor guy.

    So hypothetically, should I choose to have sex with my iPod in the privacy of my room, some cleaner can walk in on me and get me arrested.

    Sobering thought — although I couldn’t avoid smirking as I type it.

  11. November 30, 2007 at 4:51 am

    What is this world coming to that you cannot have sex with a bicycle behind closed doors? I mean, come on! Those spokes, nubby wheels, that bananna seat…ooooo…I feel a stirring of the force right now!

  12. jean pierre
    November 30, 2007 at 9:31 am


    i totally agree.


    hahahaha 😀 yep, at least they don’t discriminate. well except between everything human and non-human. “braaaaaaiiinnnsssss….!!!”


    i know… although, i’m actually still try to work out what he was doing… like, what part he was using?


    yeah, i agree, although, one wonders how this’ll stand up in court… i mean, can it really? there are laws and while they’re not perfect they do exist. i wasn’t aware of any laws forbidding one of sexual practices in one’s own home (however “deviant”) as long as it didn’t involve anyone else.

    as you say, it could be you and your ipod or me and a watermelon – would that be against the law?

    yeah, sobering, but still funny (humour is so weird isn’t it? i mean, i am truly outraged by this – truly – and yet this is still hilarious…).


    “ooh… mr bicycle… how hard and spiky you are…!”

    which reminds me once again… what did he use? how? you know.

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